THE HELP!
Time for a bit of #truthandcoffee
A while back a beautiful new author friend of mine reminded me of my Grandmother.
It was such a sweet and gentle reminder of her love and the sacrifices that she did over and over again for the sake of me and my brother. Now, trust me it wasn’t always happy, happy, joy, joy in our household but, there was definitely enough sacrifice on the behalf of us that we knew it was love - even if they rarely ever said the words.
Speaking of love and sacrifices, one of my grandmother’s ultimate sacrifices was her saying yes to cleaning others’ homes. Not just anyone’s homes, but middle to upper-class white people’s homes. Why do I specify the color? Oh! Because it was 50+ years ago, in a time where color and domestic duties meant a ton more during that time than what it means to us today. It was a sacrifice she made for her family over the years that would soon break her spirit while also helping her to value her self-worth.
Now I know you want to know why I entitled this blog, “The Help”. Let’s get into it! I have probably watched the movie, “The Help”, 10 times and each and every time I cry. Like I mentioned earlier, my grandmother raised me and my brother and for years she was “The Help” at several different homes of white families before she ended up with her very last one. In this last home, she cared for the husband, wife, their children, and their elderly grandmother.
Watching this movie reminded me so much of how these family members of each home treated her- she cooked for them, but could not eat their food, she washed their clothes, but could not wash ours, she fed and clothed and loved on their kids, raising them from infant to adult, she scrubbed their floors, their toilets and often kept their many many secrets.
She would have to take three buses and a half-mile walk to get to their homes - they paid her 50 dollars a week for years!! After many years of being their maid, she built up the confidence to ask for a raise, just $5 more per week, which would help her with the bus transfers. They belittled her and told her no - they told her, she didn’t need it! On this day, she was reminded of her self-worth, her sacrifices, and her self-importance! She quit! Her heart was broken, but her spirit was intact. I watched her cry and cry, but this cry was different from any of the others. This cry was for her win and not for their loss.
I learned so much from my grandmother at the hands of her suffrage. But I also told myself that I would never treat anyone the way they treated her - that I would work to respect all people and give them a chance until they deserved otherwise. I would open my mind to love from all and I would always love who I am and who I continue to evolve into. I learned from my grandmother the importance of self-worth and most of all the importance of standing up for yourself, even if you have to do it afraid!
Octavia Spencer (https://www.instagram.com/octaviaspencer/) and Viola Davis (https://www.instagram.com/violadavis/) played a helluva role in this movie. I can imagine it took a toll on them emotionally - I will love them forever for bringing this to life. Octavia reminded me so much of my grandmother in this role that it surely stirred every emotion.
I miss my grandmother so much and I know everything she went through was for me and my brother and for that I am and will be forever grateful
Thank you to the beautiful author Tara Hill-Starks (https://authortarahillstarks.com/) for reminding me, as so many do, how much my grandmother loved me and my brother. What a loving reminder! I know my “Grandmother prayed for me”. I can imagine that she is still sending prayers our way…….
